The Hurdle
by Dariana
Summary: A depressed and lonely Kagome's point of view.It involves cutting. OOC What happens when someone puts the wrong idea in your head. Disclaimer: Inuyasha is not mine. Please read & review (any comment is welcomed)


A hurdle

I just don't understand… 

Why do I feel so lonely?

I have my friends at the Sengoku Jidai, but I don't really feel it. To trust they are my friends… that is very hard.

I have been alone always. I'm different. They don't like me. 

Inuyasha already has Kikyo, I know they love each other and I'm just on the way. An obstacle, a hurdle for him. He just likes my ability to sense the shards, so he can get them faster and avenge his lover's dead.

I take my blade and make a small incision on my left index, the soft pain help me forget for a moment Inuyasha's indifference. It is a sweet sharp pain. Drops of crimson blood stain my skin and slips on my hand. They are so light in weight; I look at them captivated by its bright color. 

The silver-gray blade passes through another point again; this time is my arm. It is just a small cut but is followed by more and more. Lots of thin slashes decorating my arm. I feel ashamed for such a stupid act. I'm just a stupid silly girl wanting to attract everybody's attention. The worst thing is that I'm aware of it. 

Why I'm not naïve enough to don't notice it? I walk fast to the bathroom and open the mirror. Inside is the First Aid kit. I take a bandage and start wrapping it around my wounded limb. I laugh. This must be a joke. What would happen if somebody notices them? What would they think of the brave and innocent Kagome?

They will send me to a mental institution for sure. 

I sigh.

My bandage, some little stains of red liquid appear in the soft material. I feel so bad. I don't deserve the concern of anybody who watches it. I had to cure them, disappear them. 

I grab a bottle with a transparent liquid. Its red tap swirls in my hand while I try to open it. The scent of alcohol welcomes me; I pour it all over the bandage.

It hurt. I clench my teeth while I feel it scorch my skin. My heartbeat is increased in every single cut. They are throbbing.

Tears slip down my face as I see what I have done to myself. What kind of monster have I become?

I want to scream, but it would only bother my family, and him.

He was the one who make me notice that I was a hurdle, screaming it at my face. If I weren't there, my family's life would be easier and happier. It's my entire fault.

Even in the other side of the well, I messed things up, breaking the Shikon jewel in so many fragments that I would likely spend the rest of my life trying to gather all the pieces. Miroku, Sango and Inuyasha had important reasons to get it all complete. Now, thanks to me, Naraku has the most of it.

I cuddle into a ball on my bed, crying. The searing pain in my arm remembers me of my sins.

The image of the dog-hanyou appears in my mind. He is to close and too far from me at the same time. It doesn't matter how hard I try. He'll never belong to me. 

He'll despise me like him, my stepfather, when he finds out what have I done to my arm.

"Kagome" I gasp, as the half-demon's voice filtered through the open window.

I feel his warm presence approach to me, scanning my body. He must have smelt my blood.

Suddenly, I feel myself being lifted and crushed to a hard chest. His arms are encircling my body. A warm feeling wraps my heart, where a minute ago, the coldest feeling of all was residing. I breathe his scent, sandalwood and musk, it registers in my memory, I'll keep it dearly forever. I haven't stop crying.

He holds me tighter against him. His soft silver hair brushes my face.

"What have you done to yourself?" 

He seems concerned but I know it is just for a moment. He'll dismiss me later again. 

I'm just a hurdle anyway.

That's what he always says.

***********

OK don't ask… I just felt like writing it. Maybe I'll continue it. Maybe it will be just one shot. Or I'll do a story based on it.

I have a huge writer's block. I can't continue my other stories yet, that's why I ended up writing this.

Please review!!


End file.
